What is Neurodiversity?
My specialty is counseling and coaching for neurodiverse individuals, couples, and families. Neurodiverse individuals are 'wired differently'; they process information and social language differently. They may have diagnosed or undiagnosed traits of Aspergers Syndrome (AS), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Social Communication Disorder (SCD), or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). These traits, if not recognized and addressed, often lead to challenges and breakdowns in relationships and family life.
Working with neurodiversity is a relatively new and very specific field of counseling; there is limited understanding of it among doctors and mental health professionals. It is extremely common for people in neurodiverse relationships to find that traditional therapy has not been effective — often because the neurodiversity was never recognised.
People often “just can’t put their finger on what’s wrong,” but they know something is. Recognising neurodiversity and its effects usually results in a sense of real relief and empowerment — for individuals, partners, and families alike.
If you feel that your partner...
Signs in Your Partner
- blurts out things (including personal details) that are not appropriate to the situation, person, or time
- expresses strong opinions loudly
- is rude or dismissive of your feelings during a conversation
- does not engage in small talk
- uses communication to convey information, but not to create a connection
- is hyperfocused on activities of his/her interest
- sometimes appears abrupt and cold
- is overly logical when dealing with a crisis or a problem
- remembers numbers/dates but still seems forgetful with things around the house
- has difficulty expressing emotions verbally and through changes in facial expression
- responds to your emotions by problem-solving rather than listening and empathizing
- is more emotive in written rather than spoken communication
- has trouble organizing and prioritizing tasks, leading to challenges in parenting
- gets stuck in the details and can't see the whole picture
- needs a lot of alone time
- has a hard time letting go of arguments until proven 'right'
- is paranoid about certain things
- does not like changes in routine
- feels like most social routines are a 'waste of time'
If you feel that you...
Signs in Yourself
- get easily distracted
- get easily anxious or 'worked up'
- have trouble remembering faces
- prefer not looking directly at the person while speaking
- have trouble winding down to sleep
- don't like loud unfamiliar places with bright lights
- get exhausted at the end of a social situation
- feel physically exhausted at the end of an emotional argument
- are unable to 'put yourself in someone else's shoes'
- have trouble understanding metaphors, jokes, or sarcasm
- have a misunderstood sense of humor
- have been an average to above-average student
- have had trouble with handwriting, tying laces, or following instructions in school as a child
- don't know how to deal with criticism or how to accept or give a compliment
- cannot tell white lies
- are unclear about group dynamics — when to start talking, interrupt, and when to stop
- often act first and regret it later
- don't like apologizing or admitting that you are wrong
- use instructional speech with your partner — frequently telling them what to do and how to do it